A collective jumble of craftiness, therapeutic insights (and outsights), the daily moments of parenthood and my struggle with getting this body fit ! - First run this year !!!!! (but more on that later)
Today is Sunday. Today my children will trash the lounge I tidied yesterday. Today I will trash the kitchen that I now pay a cleaner to restore to pristine-ness once a week. Today I will laugh at least once, shout at least once, and I will most definitely be on the sewing machine - at least once.
I want to begin this blog with a discussion on something wonderful I've finally gifted myself.
Its taken some time, and some wrestling with guilt and shame and all those horrid feelings which actually serve only to stop me doing things I want to do !
"I have a cleaner."
Its an interesting concept this, "having a cleaner". I've always thought people who have one are upper crust individuals who aren't prepared to get stuck in with the horrors that lurk in shadows. I imagine tall hats and floral bouquets upon tables adorned with the finest of silver ware and linen napkins. It is a fact that my family have already formed an opinion of my "having a cleaner" - this somehow confirms their believe that I am lazy, too good for the jobs which I now ask my lovely Nicole to perform.
Yet now "I have a cleaner", I feel truly relieved.
The certainty I had that cleaners were for those on higher end incomes, is fading into the background. In fact, when talking to other such purveyors of services thus shamed, we all seem to be the same people. Working too many hours, spending too much time being overwhelmed by THE MESS we are unable to sit in our houses and just enjoy the feeling of being at home. Nicole does not come armed with starched uniforms nor a shame stick to beat me with - quite the opposite, she is young funky and extremely patient - 4.5 hours in my grease stained kitchen is no mean feat !
Nicole will delve into my darkest of corners, poking around in among dust and cobwebs and bits of lego that were grieved over months ago. Nicole will take layers of disgust away from my surfaces and they will be beautiful once again. Nicole will show me new places to store things, I will wake up one day and realize that my furniture looks so much better "that way round". And when I'm sitting in the mess that others around me have made, Nicole will usher me out the door and tell me to not come home till she has cleared the way.
Like my clients, I pay Nicole to help me sort out my mess. My disarray. I'm glad to say she appears non-judgmental and incredibly loving. Shes going to love my home when I'm just stressed out with it, and at some point, I'm sure I will learn to re-love my home all by myself. And today, when my creative juices over flow in the kitchen, I will not fear the wrath of the overwhelming shame - Instead, I will just breathe and know that it is only 3 sleeps until Nicole supports me once again.
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